My House Hates Me, but at least there's lots of porn!

I think that it is high time I dropped another update into the Ye Ole Blogge. Just realised that it has been at least 255 days since I last vented some of the diatribe that increasingly seems to float around in that colossal blob of grey matter that I like to call a brain.

Currently moved to a new house over in Cregagh, which would be great except it is slowly turning into a bit of a Pandora’s Box.

We managed to get the keys on Wednesday afternoon, only to discover that there was no oil in the tank. Nothing to major you might think, but as it happens the boiler is locked out as well. So having arranged for the oil to be delivered today, I now have to get my old flat mate to call round to unlock the boiler. This might be something to bear in mind for the future. If you have to live with people, it isn’t a bad idea if they happen to work in the trades business.

In a frenzy of logical thinking, I decided that it would probably be a good idea if I bought another £20 worth of electric, which would keep us going for a good chunk of February. Then we discovered issue number two. The stupid keypad that you use to load the code into has decided that my original idea was crap, and as such is refusing point blank to accept anymore credit. This merely leads me to believe that the credit keypad is now harbouring some sort of vendetta against me and would much rather that the Polish people who lived there before me came back. What the keypad doesn’t know, is that I am onto it. It has been trying to fool me by displaying the message “Wrong Tar”, which according to the leaflet that comes with the meter talks about entering a different code. However, I think it is displaying secret messages that can only be read by turning the display screen upside-down, and looking up a result in the Polish-English dictionary. Wee bastard will be laughing on the other side of it’s hash key by the time I’m done with it.

The house might have it’s problems, but it isn’t all bad. It is pretty well decorated and while rummaging around in the hot-press last night, I found a load of “Over 40’s porno”. So I might spend tonight sitting in a bollock-freezing house, but at least I won’t be short of reading material.

I’m gonna wrap this up now, but only because I don’t think that my company pay me for producing blog updates, even if the notion of such a job is quite appealing.

Catch you all later…