The 29th February! Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid!

I have just learned through the “Rumour Mill” that women are allowed to propose to men on the 29th of February. No doubt men all over the country are sitting in a cold sweat and trying to hide from significant others and crazy randoms.

I took the opportunity to look into this one further and it would appear that the carnage does not stop there. That’s right! Apparently this hair-brained tradition doesn’t extend quite as far as the woman buying the engagement ring. Nor would it surprise me in the slightest if the whole idea was created by a woman. After all the terms of the contract seem to be very much in the woman’s favour.

If any women are thinking of proposing to their other halves, I would like you to take a moment to contemplate the folly of such actions. If your boyfriend/casual sex partner had wanted to get married he would have asked by now. At best he might just turn you down blankly, but at worst if he says yes, then you can look forward to spending the next forty years in abject misery, unless of course he finally decides one day that he has had enough and just wills himself to death.

This is a dangerous day indeed. A day that is by its very nature too open for abuse, from spinsters and lady-stalkers. Men quite frequently say “yes” as a cover for having not been listening to the conversation in the first place and there is no guarantee that they will have picked up on the marriage thing until the “big day”. I can only imagine that it must feel like being sold into “sex-slavery”, only without the sex and a little less freedom.

As it stands, I have been press-ganged into dinner this evening and I am starting to get more than a little nervous at the prospect of the whole ordeal. So, if you haven’t heard from me within the next month or so, you’ll know that it didn’t go well.